stellae rubae

So I have a bit of an obsession with rapheal young, and I can never help myself...I got two pairs from his fall 2010 collection. They've weathered a few drunken nights.... Also I made a puff earring because I didn't want to spend 100 dollars on a HOH one, and I only needed one anyway... Worn with a Mark Fast for Topshop skirt that I can't seem to take off this summerr....

Superficial Space Cadet

Ugh hate the dilemma of summer looks... winter is so much easier.. I decided, however, (probably when I was procrastinating finals... ) that my summer look needs to be so totally clueless, but with scary twists and in a mostly pastel and holgraphic color pallette.. Its a specific look. Cutsie pop meets spaceship meets 90's versace ads meets the usual occult/metal twist. How better to debut my new look than in a trusty Gareth Pugh dress. I'm OBSESSED with this dress. It's like my dream dress ( besides every dress in his spring 2009 collection..). I don't really have words to describe the dress, it sort of speaks for itself. I don't think Gareth intended for it to be worn in the sense that I'm wearing it now but I think that it fits, and I'm surprised that I can take a Gareth Pugh dress out of context. I wore it to my friend JJ's house party last night and I was literally a disco ball. I imagine Cher would have worn it to a house party too... I wore it with the jacket that I made, thigh high socks, and my roommates awesome amazing grey holographic docs which I want to steal... Also did this shoot a while back for Ponystep magazine's first issue- it was a Gareth Pugh archive shoot... which is literally my dream existence... The first pic is of the dress they were going to shoot me in first (obsessed with that dress for all time) and then the other pic is the dress they choose that was in the magazine... Everybody is clueless about everything..

Gala

That pic is from last summer for a shoot for the Style Like U book.. Total witch. Totally miss that hair color! I'm like major procrastinating my like eight papers that I have to write in Abnormal Psychology right now. I went to see a witch doctor today ( she doesn't call herself that, but it's basically what she is). She moved the clogged energy in my body around- namely in my first chakra ( which is the chakra of stability, income and home) and my throat chakra- which many psychics have told me is blocked. I can literally still feel the tingling in my throat still. She said she tried to open up the flow of my intuition with my vocalization. It's almost painful how vibrantly different my body feels. I feel like I let go of so much stagnant energy today, and I literally feel the happiest that I've felt in a really long time. I've been reading a lot of Eastern philosophy lately- because I need a bit of a break from the precision of Western occultism as well as a period of introspection of myself. I've sort of been teaching myselfthe process of resignation to the universe and the satisfaction in letting go. The reason that my First Chakra is blocked is because I've felt for so long that I don't have anything or anyone- a bit lost especially after periods of loss and delusions of dependency. But i've been re-teaching myself, that I AM alone. That we ARE all alone- but that stability can be found within this. All we have is our soul and that is a smaller part of the greater whole of the harmony of existence. We can't ever lose ourselves to the illusions of material attachments because we forget the reality of our only honest attachment with ourselves.... Anyway. I'm obsessed with my Mark Fast dress. It's sort of the only thing that makes me happy. I wear it like to every outting, and it's pretty much the sluttiest, ugliest thing that I own. I think I'm so in love with it because I could never ever fathom how a. someone could even imagine this dress into existence and b. how it could even be made into existence. Ugh and I miss that hair color too... Pic is from styledefinednyc.com. Didn't realize how fun it is to google image search Bernini?

Four of Disks

I bought this KTZ denim jacket as an impulsive buy at Christmas time. KTZ's stuff is so easy for me to not to even think about when buying, because it's well constructed, unique, and relatively inexpensive. I haven't really worn it that much, I keep telling myself I'm just waiting for spring/summer- I hope it's not a secretly never going to wear item because I'm obsessed with it. I love when KTZ takes classic pieces and fucks them up and I think that they know how to balance the right amount of 'ugly' with cute. Cute ugly. Designers that know how to harmonize humor and seriousness within pieces are my favorite, and in my opinion the best. Worn with House Of Holland crop top, and Mark Fast skirt...

birth of venus

Ugh here's this studded jacket that took me like months + fabric that I got printed. The painting on the jacket is from Aliester Crowley's book over Feedback- (It's a wolf in a triangle-pretty strong symbolism) I always think of mystic Dion Fortune's story of when she manifested her anger into a wolf and she could like feel its hair against her back... when I wear this jacket.

the aeon

Have you ever put so much energy into one thing, that you forget pretty much about the entire universe and yourself? That's as best as I can explain my year of absence. Tonight when I was procrastinating my schoolwork (i.e. taking useless blog photos, because it's not like I have the most homework that I've ever seen ever) I wanted to use my Thoth Tarot Deck as like a cute and casual addition to a photo and I pulled out 15 cards exactly. This is significant because the 15 card spread is the spread Crowley recommends to use in divination. I'm not one to read my own Tarot, but it was meant. The spread, to abbreviate very heavily, told me that the darkness would give way to a deep understanding. I guess I feel sort of like when you get the Death Card. It's an ominous force at first glance,but it's "negativity" heralds new beginnings. It's a theme I know too well, because forces in the universe always remind me when I feel the most comfortable. There's a certain flow and rythmn that has to be realized, and stability has to dissolve into chaos to become at peace again. Things must die, so that new things can come to fruitation. SO continuing with this spirit, of renewal, I have decided to try and find myself again. And try to be more of a presence on my blog. I've let a lot go in my life, and I want to try and get it back. Gradual update. School has literally killed me this semester/ last semester. (School is part of the reason that I have lost myself.) We had to make a mini collection for Cotton Inc, and mine is like Egyptian future alien. ((The first pic is a House of Holland Dress, Sweatshirt I embroidered with leather blood, how I feel right now... not a part of the collection......))) The jacket that I made for Cotton Inc. is a motorcycle jacket with trapunto quilting in geometric lines and in heiroglyphics- the text is from the Book of The Dead- roughly from a poem to Isis I think. The thread is solar reactive- so it changes color when you go outside. It's white usually, but in the sun it turns a light blue. I actually haven't seen it change- but it was 15 dollar thread so I assume that it does... The blue top is from a print that I made on photoshop and I got it printed on organic cotton- its an alien head with a Qabalistic spiral over it. The skirt is just more trapunto and is supposed to resemble both technology and the sheath dress of the Egyptians.... The pants I had to make are kind of okay too I like forgot to take pictures (?) they have like holographic strips on them. Also, and randomly on a side note I made these socks last semester ( also not a part of the collection) , much to my dismay that Moonspoon Saloon made pants that are EXACTLY the same this season. I can't say ANYTHING negative about Moonspoon, their blood drips are like way cuter. Anyway..