Have you ever put so much energy into one thing, that you forget pretty much about the entire universe and yourself? That's as best as I can explain my year of absence. Tonight when I was procrastinating my schoolwork (i.e. taking useless blog photos, because it's not like I have the most homework that I've ever seen ever) I wanted to use my Thoth Tarot Deck as like a cute and casual addition to a photo and I pulled out 15 cards exactly. This is significant because the 15 card spread is the spread Crowley recommends to use in divination. I'm not one to read my own Tarot, but it was meant. The spread, to abbreviate very heavily, told me that the darkness would give way to a deep understanding. I guess I feel sort of like when you get the Death Card. It's an ominous force at first glance,but it's "negativity" heralds new beginnings. It's a theme I know too well, because forces in the universe always remind me when I feel the most comfortable. There's a certain flow and rythmn that has to be realized, and stability has to dissolve into chaos to become at peace again. Things must die, so that new things can come to fruitation.
SO continuing with this spirit, of renewal, I have decided to try and find myself again. And try to be more of a presence on my blog. I've let a lot go in my life, and I want to try and get it back. Gradual update. School has literally killed me this semester/ last semester. (School is part of the reason that I have lost myself.) We had to make a mini collection for Cotton Inc, and mine is like Egyptian future alien. ((The first pic is a House of Holland Dress, Sweatshirt I embroidered with leather blood, how I feel right now... not a part of the collection......)))
The jacket that I made for Cotton Inc. is a motorcycle jacket with trapunto quilting in geometric lines and in heiroglyphics- the text is from the Book of The Dead- roughly from a poem to Isis I think. The thread is solar reactive- so it changes color when you go outside. It's white usually, but in the sun it turns a light blue. I actually haven't seen it change- but it was 15 dollar thread so I assume that it does... The blue top is from a print that I made on photoshop and I got it printed on organic cotton- its an alien head with a Qabalistic spiral over it. The skirt is just more trapunto and is supposed to resemble both technology and the sheath dress of the Egyptians.... The pants I had to make are kind of okay too I like forgot to take pictures (?) they have like holographic strips on them. Also, and randomly on a side note I made these socks last semester ( also not a part of the collection) , much to my dismay that Moonspoon Saloon made pants that are EXACTLY the same this season. I can't say ANYTHING negative about Moonspoon, their blood drips are like way cuter. Anyway..
That pic is from last summer for a shoot for the Style Like U book.. Total witch. Totally miss that hair color! I'm like major procrastinating my like eight papers that I have to write in Abnormal Psychology right now. I went to see a witch doctor today ( she doesn't call herself that, but it's basically what she is). She moved the clogged energy in my body around- namely in my first chakra ( which is the chakra of stability, income and home) and my throat chakra- which many psychics have told me is blocked. I can literally still feel the tingling in my throat still. She said she tried to open up the flow of my intuition with my vocalization. It's almost painful how vibrantly different my body feels. I feel like I let go of so much stagnant energy today, and I literally feel the happiest that I've felt in a really long time. I've been reading a lot of Eastern philosophy lately- because I need a bit of a break from the precision of Western occultism as well as a period of introspection of myself. I've sort of been teaching myselfthe process of resignation to the universe and the satisfaction in letting go. The reason that my First Chakra is blocked is because I've felt for so long that I don't have anything or anyone- a bit lost especially after periods of loss and delusions of dependency. But i've been re-teaching myself, that I AM alone. That we ARE all alone- but that stability can be found within this. All we have is our soul and that is a smaller part of the greater whole of the harmony of existence. We can't ever lose ourselves to the illusions of material attachments because we forget the reality of our only honest attachment with ourselves.... Anyway. I'm obsessed with my Mark Fast dress. It's sort of the only thing that makes me happy. I wear it like to every outting, and it's pretty much the sluttiest, ugliest thing that I own. I think I'm so in love with it because I could never ever fathom how a. someone could even imagine this dress into existence and b. how it could even be made into existence. Ugh and I miss that hair color too... Pic is from styledefinednyc.com. Didn't realize how fun it is to google image search Bernini? 
Posts
